The Missionary Position – Lots of Lube

December 28, 2012

I love sexual exploration. If Marque de Sade has a shy, modern day muse, I’d have her pegged. That said, I have a peculiar story. My last (male) partner loved anal. I (female) tried to be GGG about it, explaining my boundaries of gloves & guidance. I personally love a finger of stimulus. Who doesn’t? But this is where I got confused. He showed me his whole kit for expansions, telling me specifically he likes it when a woman just dominates & roughly penetrates him. A little overwhelmed with this situation, I backed out of the relationship because I couldn’t communicate with him that I needed more time. What could I do next time this sort of thing happens? Should I just let my nervousness go & go at it?

Signed- Teaming With All Things (TWAT)

When something is new, it is often best to work one’s way into it rather than just jumping in.  I can see why it might be intimidating to have a new partner pull out a rubber cock bigger than your fist, especially if he asks you to tie him up & pound him with it.

However, the best cure for nerves is to just go for it.  If you’re nervous about shoving that rubber fist in someone’s ass and going to town, TWAT, that’s okay. Just express your concerns (anal fissures, poop, butt-babies…) and come up with a safe word you can both remember.  If hurting them is something you’re concerned about, maybe take a brief break after 15 minutes to check in with them.  If you’re not sure how to dominate your partner, ask them for some suggestions.  Start with those & see where the role takes you. And use LOTS of lube.

After the first awkward time is over, ya’ll can discuss what worked & what didn’t, and what you’d like to try the next time you play.  And if all that sounds too hard, just practice saying “I’m interested in exploring this with you, but I need more time.”

 

~The Missionary Position is a sex/relationship advice column.  Questions are answered by Ajé Summerly who is a sexuality enthusiast & consultant.  To submit a question, email Ajé at theburrozine@gmail.com

Previous columns from The Missionary Position:

Teen Pussy

Cover Your Dick

 

 

 

 

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