The Missionary Position – Interior Design

December 28, 2012

Dear Missionary Position,

I recently bought a house, so for the first time I get to design & build everything I want in my space.  I need my room to be amazing for “entertaining” if you know what I mean.  I plan to even build the bed frame myself, so it can be totally custom.  What do you recommend for the sexiest bed around, and the whole room for that matter?

Sincerely,

-Home Owner with a Boner

Once upon a time when I was a young lady I dreamed of losing my virginity on a clear water bed, suspended from the ceiling & full of goldfish.  Unfortunately that’s not very practical, and my virginity is long gone.

What I suggest is making the majority of your room bondage accessible.  Buy a bunch of screwable steel eyelets.   Find a stud in the ceiling above an unoccupied space in your room & screw two eyelets a few feet apart from each other.  Stick some in your desk, so you can bend over that naughty secretary of yours and make sure she stays put.  Things like that.

As for your bed, build a frame with built in bondage hooks.  Put a drawer in the frame where you can keep restraints, dildos, blindfolds, glitter, etc.

You should get one of those condom machines you find in shady bar bathrooms.  Find a way to rig it (or keep a dish of quarters on your night stand).  That way, condoms feel like a prize; and when you throw parties you can hide your quarter dish & make some extra change when folks use your room to get their freak on.  Ooh!  You can get a lube dispenser too.  I like that idea.  Then you don’t have to deal with a slippery bottle.

You should definitely have a tip jar.

 

~The Missionary Position is a sex/relationship advice column.  Questions are answered by Ajé Summerly who is a sexuality enthusiast & consultant.  To submit a question, email Ajé at theburrozine@gmail.com

Previous columns from The Missionary Position:

Teen Pussy

Cover Your Dick

Lots of Lube

 

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