Preventing Disease with Latex Body Suits

May 7, 2013

My husband and I are polyamorous and I’ve been seeing someone else for a few months now.  Before getting physical (beyond kissing) he wanted me to know that he thinks he has HPV which is a deal breaker for my husband.  I’ve always understood that HPV is fairly common and that a lot of people in the poly community see it as inevitable at one point or another.  Is it actually all that common and, if I really like him, is that a legitimate reason to risk getting HPV myself (and possibly passing it on to my husband)?

-Scared of Viruses

 As you’ve suspected SOV, the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) is quite common; in fact it seems to be the most common STI among sexually active teens & young adults, spreading even more rapidly than the Herpes virus.  Mind you, this is not a reason to fret.  While there is currently no cure for HPV, only a very small amount of infections result in cancer, and most of the wart-causing strains remain asymptomatic and will clear up on their own.  Meaning, most people who contract it lose it without even knowing they ever had it (which is why it’s always a good idea to take precautions, just in case)..

 I’m impressed with your boy-toy’s openness about the possibility that he may have the virus; kudos to him for communicating, yay!  And I can understand why a possible infection might be a deal-breaker for your husband, but please don’t discount the possibility that you or your husband may yourselves already be carriers.  Also consider that you’ve already made out with this boy, which means that if he, you or your husband have ever been exposed to cold sores, you’re all already at risk of spreading something (and Herpes never goes away, even if it’s dormant forever).

 When it comes to sexual exploration of any kind, nothing is foolproof (including condoms); risks are always involved, especially if you have more than one partner.  So if getting your cunt fucked by a guy who may/may not have a virus that may/may not show itself is something you really want to do SOV, both you & your husband need to discuss the risks at length & come up with a plan to minimize these risks.  I recommend that you and your partner(s) invest in full body latex suits with a tiny opening at the crotch, wear a female condom, make the dude wear a male condom & get your freak on.  It may not be as spontaneous & sexy as you want, but it will sure make it more difficult for viruses to sneak their way into your system.

 But ultimately, if you love your husband, and only like this new guy, cut your losses and keep looking for a guy that isn’t a dealbreaker for your hubby.

~The Missionary Position is a sex/relationship advice column.  Questions are answered by Ajé Summerly who is a sexuality enthusiast & consultant.  To submit a question, email Ajé at tmp@theburrozine.com

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