Goat Love

February 9, 2014

So I live on a farm and we raise animals of all sorts.  Last night I was in the barn cleaning it out when this Goat walked in.  I knew she’d always felt comfortable around me and I felt the same way around her.  She kept rubbing her self up against my leg and thigh when I bent down, everytime I looked at her face, she gave me the “eye.” SO after about 15 minutes of this I decided I would make a move.  I bent down and kissed her on the lips, the kiss was reciprocated with a lick to my face.  Well then one thing led to another and we ended up having sex there and then.  My question is, as I was a virgin before we had sex, does sex with a Goat count as losing my virginity?

   -confused goat fucker

Once you’ve put your dick in a living creature, you’re not a virgin.  However, I like to think there are lots of virginities to be lost.  So if it makes you feel better, stick to categories.  You are no longer a Goat Virgin, but you’re still a Human Vagina Virgin, Human Ass Virgin, Blow Job Virgin, Dirty Sanchez Virgin, etc…  So if one day you meet a girl who rubs up against you and gives you ‘the eye’ you can still say “I’ve never done this before” and it won’t be lying.   In fact, you’ll probably have better luck getting laid by humans if you don’t mention your fling with the goat; unless of course you meet a farm girl who has a thing for donkeys.

~The Missionary Position is a sex/relationship/life advice column. Questions are answered by Ajé Summerly who is a fried of ours that random people often ask questions to.  She begged us for this column and we gave it to her so that she would shut the fuck up.   Now get those mental wheels turning and send her a question at tmp@theburrozine.com

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