Getting Layed by Ladys

April 29, 2013

I am 55 years old I love sex I am married but my wife hates sex. If I don’t get layed 5 times a week I go nuts. I go out and meet ladys and have sex. Am I wrong in doing that?
-Lady Lover

Honestly, this letter seems fake to me.  You sound like some horny kid trying to amuse himself (an assumption made due to your inability to spell “laid” or “ladies” properly, but somehow you manage to get laid all the time).   But I’ll answer your letter because I asked for this column and I refuse to let my begging be in vain.

What is “right” or “wrong” can only be determined by your personal belief system, so I can’t comment on that.  But I can say that cheating on your wife with a random variety of women is totally fucked up.   You’re being selfish, and if you’re having sex with random “ladys” multiple times a week, you’re being stupid as well.  Even at 55, you can still catch sexually transmitted infections, and your current actions are putting your wife at risk as well, and without her consent.

Considering your age and the fact that you’re married, you should be grateful if your wife puts out once a month.  There’s nothing wrong with you having a high sex-drive, but porn and masturbation are an awesome combo for getting yourself off between sack sessions, and it’s a method many men use with great success.  You should try it sometime.

If that simply won’t cut it, consider the other aspects of your marriage; if your relationship is otherwise awesome and mutually satisfying for both you and your wife, perhaps you could discuss the difference in your sex drives and come up with a compromise you can both agree on.  If sex is so unappealing to your wife, maybe she would agree to let you find a designated fuck buddy to help satisfy your sexual urges.  Though based on your letter, I’m not sure if you’d be capable of meeting in the middle.

If the rest of your marriage is as disconnected as your sex life, or if you’re neglecting your wife to “meet ladys and have sex”, then you guys should break the fuck up.  Sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, and your wife might prefer to find a new partner with a lower sex drive that won’t be sticking his dick in every cunt he finds access to.  And that will free you up to find yourself a nympho, or a slew of them, to keep you good & fucked all week long.

Regardless of what sexual activities you seek out in the future, please do yourself and your wife a favor & go get tested for STI’s.  Show a bit of self-control and keep your dick in your pants until you get your results.  If you’ve caught something and have had sex with your wife since you started screwing around, bite the bullet & let her know she needs to get tested too.  If you keep cheating, wear condoms EVERY time and make sure to do nice things for your wife on a regular basis; if you’re gonna be stupid you might as well be smart about it.

~The Missionary Position is a sex/relationship advice column.  Questions are answered by Ajé Summerly who is a sexuality enthusiast & consultant.  To submit a question, email Ajé at tmp@theburrozine.com

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